I’m still digging it up, still brushing it off, but there’s something here. Something is just below the surface, and I’m wiggling it like a loose tooth and every now and then I get the sense that if I knock it free I may find more of myself down there, parts of me that had been covered over.
Eight years ago today we pledged our lives together standing barefoot in the sand in front of family, friends, and the steel blue sea.
And in the manner that typically plays out between mother and grown daughter I thought, wow is she off the mark. But it sat there and it marinated and I came to have a little deeper insight on it. I realize now that there are two different kinds of perfectionism. I had not recognized that the tune I was dancing to was one of them.
It is a terrible feeling to feel misunderstood by someone. I am not referring to being misunderstood on a particular issue but rather the more fundamental kind of misunderstood, when someone does not “get” you.
I am not a marriage expert. This list is from my own experience. Obviously there are big deep seated issues such as not fighting well; over controlling; passive aggression; or lying that the following suggestions would not fix. But I do think a little extra attention in these areas would make any marriage stronger.