Like it or not, there are times in life when we’re having a problem with someone close to us. It’s difficult enough to have a relationship strain with any person; bosses, colleagues, neighbors, etc., but it’s particularly difficult when it’s someone that you love. My first inclination is always to try to talk things out, but sometimes that’s just not possible or not enough either because nerves are too raw, one person shuts down, or because the underlying tone has become too pervasive and seems to get in the way of any one-off discussion.
I recently began meditating on a regular basis, which is something I have had on my “to do” list for years but could never seem to make the space for, and I came across this meditation practice that is meant specifically for those times when there is a strain in one of your close relationships. I have no amazing verdict to report yet, and I’m not sure that’s the point. But I have found this focus for part of my meditations to be very enlightening as to how effected my feeling are and in helping bridge whatever gap there may be in my psyche in order to move it toward one of peace and comfort. Here I’ll offer it up for you to try if you meditate or, if like me you have always intended to, maybe this is the little pull into the water you need. Please let us know if you give it a try and if anything in particular comes up for you.
(when you’re frustrated with, or just having a bumpy time with someone you love such as a spouse, partner, or family member)
- Sit quietly in an upright position and watch your breath for a while
- Allow your partner’s (or chosen person’s) face to come in to your mind and observe what feeling arise for you. Take a moment here.
- On the inhale say these words silently to yourself:
“I breathe in compassion for (my partner) and me.”
- Exhale: “I breathe out compassion.”
- Repeat as long as possible and watch what feelings come to mind but don’t analyze or judge them. Just observe and breathe.
*Here is a link to the article where I first found the compassion meditation; this is also a really fun site to poke around.
* If you have lots you are hoping to do in this new year or if your health and energy are at the top of that list, check out this smoothie it’s amazing in how great it makes me feel!